The Return...Rather Continuation of WoW

When Brandon was playing his goblin character, Verbosa, on WoW he was constantly saying to me, "Don't worry, once I hit level 85 I'll only have a few quests per day to complete. It should only be like a couple hours of playing per day."  In my heart of hearts, I knew this wouldn't be so. (I even predicted this in a post here) But he insisted his playing would simmer.  Wrong.

Introducing, his new character, "Hasslehoof".  A Druid character named after David Hasselhoff.

 Don't you see the resemblance?!


 This character he created is already a level 17!  You may think this is good- the farther up in the levels, the closer to the end, right?  Wrong.  He has at least 3 other characters waiting in the wings: Jason Tauren (as in the "Bourne" fame), Dog Whisperer, Skank Trapper, Bonerape...what I'm saying is there will never be an end in sight.  He can keep telling me it's almost done or almost over...but it never will be.  WoW you suck!  I take back all the nice things I said in my previous letter to you.  Expect a nastier, more aggressive letter coming your way soon. 

When Men Are Sick

Anyone who has a male partner of any kind (husband, boyfriend etc.) has at some point, surely, seen that male sick.  Or maybe even injured.  And I'm sure we can all agree, that they become the little boys they once were.  No matter how much muscle, stature, manliness or just pure testosterone they have now, the suckiness prevails when the immune system fails.  (total accidental rhyme!  Love it!)

Brandon is no different in this aspect.  When he is sick, sore or whatever, he becomes a little boy once again.  Which is why I so love the commercial on TV these days for NyQuil:

How true is that?!  But women, when you're sick aren't you still expected to ensure the household is running smoothly.  I will admit, Brandon is a pretty great caregiver when I am desperately ill.  Last year I was extremely sick and he ensured the dogs were taken outside, fed and occupied so I could basically sleep, lay down and moan.  As far as I've heard, I've got it pretty good.

Girl's Guide to World of Warcraft: Part 3

Continuing the Girl's Guide to WoW, we move onto...

Customizing Your Character's Appearance

The most fun part of the game by far!  You get to choose skin colour (in most species), hair style, face shape and features... great fun.  Basically, each time I made a character, I made it in some resemblance of myself.  Goblin.  Shannon inspired!  Gnome.  Shannon inspired!  And finally, I settled on Dwarf.  Shannon inspired!

Technically, already being short in stature began the Dwarf's Shannon inspired look (I'm "petite danon").  Then I changed her face to have beautiful blue eyes and as pretty a face a Dwarf can have.  Her hair, clearly blonde, was long and wavy.  She was the essence of Dwarf beauty... if there is such a thing.

I encourage any of the women out there to just jump onto their guy's WoW server for even 20 minutes and create yourself as a character.  Just for fun.  As this is the only fun the game really has, you may as well get the most out of it while you can.

NOT my beautiful Dwarf

The Story of World of Warcraft

The other night, Brandon and I were just having a regular night: watching The Big Bang Theory, looking for jobs, snacking on popcorn... You know, living the super exciting lives we live. Then, Brandon began telling me how the World of Warcraft story was a very in depth and complicated story. This probably stemmed from some comment I made about the game I adore oh so much. But I could tell he really wanted to fill me in on this saga, so I agreed to watch a 57 minute YouTube video all about the story.  But only after I had one of my nice long, scalding hot showers.  Almost as soon as I turned off the water Brandon yelled into me, "hurry up you take so long I want to show you this video".  I hurried as best I could considering the activity option laying ahead.

Thankfully, Brandon deemed the video "too fast", meaning I didn't have to watch it.  However, he was able to fill me in.  With a private tour of the map alongside story time. As he was explaining just how the big boss guy, Thrall, was so wonderful and successful I think he realized just how odd the whole story was sounding. But he was so into it- and excited to be sharing it with me. And I listened, like a good girlfriend, and I could probably recite like 75% of it. That's pretty good, don't you think?!

If you're interested in the condensed woman version please leave comments... Don't worry I don't expect too many requests.

Ottawa...and it's terrible arena (and hockey team)

Earlier this month, Brandon and I drove to Ottawa for a Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Ottawa Senators game. If you don't know Brandon personally, you wouldn't know that taking him to the venue of the rival playing his team was bound to be a fun adventure!

Beyond the fact that the 2 hour drive (from our hotel approximately 20km away) to the arena was ridiculous and poorly planned by the city, the whole experience prior to the actual game was frustrating- with bad parking systems, uneducated employees... It was a rough go until we got inside the arena. So rough in fact, I have written a letter with suggestions of how they should improve their facility. Of course, it was very nicely and politely written!

But once inside, the fun began. Brandon began his yelling, drinking and high fiving with the plethora of Toronto Maple Leafs' fans. There were so many- way more than I expected!   (I would have inserted a photo of all the TML fans here, but my stupid computer won't cooperate- you go pictureless for now readers)

One of my favourite comments was directed towards the assistant of the Ottawa Senators- "I guess the A stands for almost!" He also yelled at the goalie of Ottawa with comments like, "that was close Craig!". The Toronto fans around us thought he was quite funny, even commenting on how he was on a first name basis with the goalie. It was loud, fun and boisterous. We (the Toronto Maple Leafs, in case you hadn't heard I joined the team) won 5-0 so of course this made Brandon louder and much more excited.
I found it exciting to make comments about how close the Leafs were to winning- which Brandon says will most definitely jinx the winning streak. It seems my comments did not jinx them.

Besides the hockey game, Brandon and I also visited the Heritage Warplane Museum and the Nature Museum.  We picked up another metal warplane sign for the "aircraft room" as well as a model of a T-Rex skull, which was on sale!  So, although I already thought the T-Rex skull was cool, being on sale made it that much better.  I'd prefer if it was showcased outside of the "aircraft room" for others to see, but Brandon thinks it's best to stay in there on the shelf.  Safe.  I think he may be nervous I'd break it... or touch it.  It's on the top shelf in the room.  Taller than me- I can't reach it.  But I can look at it from afar.  

My Computer Sucks!

I've been trying to update my blog for days from my computer. I've talked about this before, my computer sucks! It's old, slow and I've run out of memory space. I need a new one, but that involves money. Something which I do not possess. So, Mac God...or Goddess- please send me a new MacBook Pro?! Please?! I've been good, and I love your company and I tell people how wonderful your products are. You should really just send me a new one. Don't hold me responsible for Brandon not liking you... He refuses to see the greatness of your products 'cause of his games.

I'll continue updating with lots of World of Warcraft goodness as soon as I have time for my computer to load up. For now, help me find Apple God/Goddess and at least swindle me a discount?!

How Do You Eat Your KD?

I'm sure we've all had a bite of Kraft Dinner at some point in our lives, right?  If you haven't, well then you aren't even a lucky recipient of a food bank donation.  If you have, what I'm wondering is how you eat your KD?

I, eat my KD on the less creamy side of the directions, not so much milk, not so much margarine.  I boil the noodles to a "just done" point, drain immediately.  You see, all this is to ensure that my KD doesn't get soggy.  Then, once my KD has been properly mixed and prepared, I pour out my portion onto a large plate and top it off with a proper amount of ketchup (usually in the shape of a happy face or flower).  This, to me, is the perfect Kraft Dinner experience.

Brandon's perfect KD experience is a bit different.  Firstly, he's not picky about how it's made.  Soggy, hard, done just right-he'll eat it.  Then, when he mixes it he prefers it on the creamy side of the instructions, a little more milk, a little more margarine.  Then, once he's done mixing he pours it into a bowl and smothers the noodles in ketchup.  This shouldn't surprise me, considering the amount of ketchup he uses on everything (see previous post here).

How do you eat your Kraft Dinner?  Bowl or plate?  Fork or spoon?  Ketchup or naked?

Pet Names... No not the dogs.

Within the first couple weeks of knowing Brandon he had christened me as "ShanMan". Naturally, when I first heard this I was a bit surprised as I was (and still am not) a man! Why was this very handsome guy, whom I was fairly certain fancied me too, referring to me as "ShanMan"... Emphasis on the man?!

I came to the quick realization that Brandon often dubbed people with pet names. Mine happened to become ShanMan... Because it rhymed. Hey, I'm all for rhyming statements. I've mentioned before I do enjoy "awesome possum" as well as, "fancy dancy" among others. But man? Why not... "ShanFan" as in you are a fan of mine? I feel like that's a much more appropriate pet name.
I've grown to love this pet name now, but I still notice the looks friends and family give me when they hear me respond to it.

A newer name that has developed in the last few months is "Kermin". This name developed from our favourite Muppets character, Pepe. With his spanish accent, his pronunciation of Kermit turns into "Kermin". We love Pepe... And he has a line in "Muppets from Space" where he says, "hey Kermin... When are you going to fix the oven, ok?" in fact, enjoy this clip of Pepe's best moments.

All this to say, Brandon also refers to me as Kermin- usually when he wants something. So I also know when I hear, "hey Kermin...?" the next thing will be "can you get me some water, ok?"

Pet names- cute with sentimental stories attached to them.

Why He Is Awesome

I feel like a lot of time I'm explaining Brandon's idiosyncrasies, and not emphasizing the reasons he's fantastic and why I love him so much. Though this would completely ruin the vibe of my blog- so I can't be too mushy or lovey.

Here's my lunch for work today (not the McDonald's cup or water in the background):

All I said was I wanted pasta- I gave no other instructions or requests (I know- I know I'm improving!) my lunch was both delicious and nutritious (and gave me the added bonus of allowing me that rhyming statement- I like rhyming statements, like "awesome possum"). I received the pasta, an apple, granola bar, popcorn with my popcorn shaker seasoning, and water- in his water bottle because my beautiful pink one is broken from dropping it so often. He even layered my pasta with sauce and cheese for the perfect cheese to pasta to sauce ratio. That lunch kept me fueled for work all day... As boring as it tends to be. That lunch was also the envy of some of my coworkers (likely including Jaisun who doubles as roomie and coworker).

This is why I love Brandon. 
Of course there are things that are better than lunch that he does, but I can't let it all out in one post. That would just be silly.

I Like Holidays... A lot!

Holidays, no matter how big or small, are fun. Brandon says I'm the consumer Hallmark looks for. And while I can see that being a valid statement, I don't spend astronomical amounts on holiday decorations. Ok Christmas is a different story. You can't count that!

But, really, I only buy decorations for smaller holidays at the dollar store. I spent a total of $5 on our Valentine's decorations which consist of: a wooden sign which reads "love" (not unlike my Halloween sign that says "spooky"),small wooden hanging hearts and 3 kitchen towels with hearts on them (that could be used all year as hearts are very general decor!). I think all that for $5 is pretty good. It makes the house look V-Day festive.

It's ironic, because Brandon doesn't even celebrate Valentine's Day. Last Valentine's I went to Sobey's for groceries, he made dinner. He jumps on that "I hate holidays 'cause they cost money" bandwagon. Whereas he says I an on the "spend stupid money on holidays" bandwagon. I feel like $5 for some festive fun and to brighten our home is worth that title. So I'll take it.

Holidays can make things fun and uplifting. I don't care if there are no presents or gifts exchanged, (warning! I'm about to be corny) it's really just about having fun and being with people you love... Or at least like a little.

I love holidays- end of story.

The Girl's Guide to World of Warcraft: Part 2

For the 2nd installment of the Girl's Guide to World of Warcraft, we will focus on... 

Classes

Better known to the "normies" as jobs, WoW knew their players wouldn't understand such terminology as many of their players lack jobs.  So instead they classify them as "classes".  There are 10 total classes to pick from- some only available with the expansion packs... which you can buy for the low low cost of only $19.95 per pack each and every time you want to expand your playing world!  And who wouldn't want to, am I right?

Here we go.

Druid- similar to transformers, but instead of cars and trucks they can become bears, cats and use magic with all sorts of crazy names. Similarly to Jesus they also have a talent called rebirth which resurrects them.

Hunter- straightforward enough, even for us "normies" who have to listen to this stuff- but beyond the long range hunting they do, they can also tame beasts around the worlds (of warcraft) and make these animals fight for them. When reading about hunters I thought it was funny one of their talent specializations is "survival"... shouldn't they all have survival?!

Mage- these weirdos use magic to damage other players, they can teleport, have a special talent called crowd control and can make food and water out of nothing- essentially these are witches. Burn them!

Paladin- they are hybrids- like a Toyota Prius! They are apparently good supporters and have great buff abilities- girls I don't think they mean buff like man-buff. Don't these guys sound great though- good supporters and buff? Hmmm... maybe a Paladin would make for a good husband?

Priest- quoted as the most healing class in the game.  Well I should hope so! They're freakin priests! They also have mind control abilities... I don't think this game is very realistic, how about you?

Rogue- they are strong at being stealth they're also good at lock picking- women we can relate this to Henry from "The Time Travelers Wife"... He has to be good at that too. Otherwise they're useless. I've been informed the term "rogues do it from behind" is quite popular among the WoW players because of the fact they come at enemies from behind to attack... I wonder if these WoW players even know what us "normies" think of that as- considering most of them probably haven't had sex before

Shaman- these guys are crazy they can switch between being casters (not like the ones under your bed) and healers, also known as good supporters who can fill in whatever position may be needed at the time. Kind of like a jack of all trades I guess

Warlock- they use "dark magic" (as opposed to all that light magic) to dominate enemies- they also use animals as weapons, but instead of regular animals they use demons- apparently mostly played by lazy players who play on easy mode

Warrior- they have strong close fighting abilities but are dependent on their gear because their abilities are affected by what they carry and wear...they sound needy.

Death Knight- a high end class because you can't get one until you're level 55... In other words after you've put in a solid 36 hours of playtime maybe you can acquire one of these guys. They can have minions! Maybe I DO want to be this!

This covers the class descriptions, next time we'll move onto outfitting/customizing your character.  This is where the real fun starts!

Dear World of Warcraft

"Wasting lives since 1994"

I write to you, World of Warcraft, in regards to my lovely, wonderful boyfriend, Brandon.  You know him well, he visits you each and every day for hours on end- usually the greater portion of the day, in fact.  Firstly, I'd like to ask you to take care of him.  If you see that he isn't eating, sleeping or otherwise taking care of himself, can you please crash the server or freeze your game?  I just want to make sure he stays alive and well if he's going to be playing you for the hours and days he inevitably does.

Second, could you just make him a level 85 already?  He says he's just trying to get to level 85 and then he won't play you as much.  I don't see this as being true, but it's worth a shot!  So, if you could just expedite the process, well that would be wonderful.

Because I am pretty sure Brandon won't stop playing you for quite some time, I'd like to make a suggestion to you on behalf of all gamer's girlfriends out there: I think you should create mandatory break periods.  All players should be mandated to break for at least 15 minutes every hour.  During this break, gamers should be suggested to eat, pee, speak to their girlfriends, cook a meal, call other family members or perhaps stand up and do some kind of physical activity.  During play they should also be reminded to sit up straight and adjust their posture to proper sitting position.  These are merely suggestions, World of Warcraft.  Can I call you WoW?  I feel like with the amount of time you spend with my boyfriend, we're fairly close through only a degree of separation.

Have you ever noticed how every other activity your players do is rushed, just so they can get back to playing your game?  I see this behaviour in Brandon when eating, talking to me, cooking, watching movies... basically any task or activity set in front of him other than you.  Just let him know you'll still be there when he eventually does return.  That you won't have picked up and left, crashed or disappeared.  I suspect you'll (unfortunately) be around for a very long time.

Wow, why do you make your quests and levels so long and complicated?  From your creators' stance I suppose it's so people spend lots of time, energy and money on you.  And while I support that from a business standpoint, do they not have families who want to see them and talk to them every once in a while?  Oh.  No?  Hmmmm.... ok.  Well, I'd like to talk to Brandon some more- without you making noises and trying to gather his attention in the background.

Listen Wow, I'm sure you've got your place in the world.  I'm sure you've got to have some kind of goodness to you.  Somewhere.  But I can't find it.  I don't intend to be mean, just asking for some cooperation.  It's hardly fair that you insist on taking up ALL of Brandon's spare time.  Can I please have Brandon back?  Please?

Kind regards,

Shannon

P.S. I thought you may enjoy this video from YouTube showing examples of what your players say to us, patient and understanding, girlfriends.

Gary Sinise: Military Channel Voice Over Guy or Actor?

The other day Brandon was watching a 4 part marathon of some show about volunteer military pilots from the USA.  When the show began, I recognized the narrator's voice as Gary Sinise.  I said, surprised, to Brandon, "that's Gary Sinise!  What's he doing on the military channel?"  To my surprise, Brandon said, "What do you mean?  How do you know Gary Sinise?  He narrates the military channel shows."  

Newly Organized Kitchen

With our new roommate here and actually using the "amenities" we provide him in this place, I had to reorganize our cupboards and fridge to accommodate.  I had originally done this for Doug, but then he never used it, so I took it over and made good sue of the small space we have.  I kind of just consumed the whole kitchen for us, and organized it however I wanted.  And I had a good system.

Then I forgot when we got a new roommate, that he'd be normal and want space in the kitchen.  Understandable.  So, our snack cupboard has turned into Jai's cupboard.  And our regular/dinner cupboard has become our catch-all cupboard.  This made for putting away groceries after shopping a bit more challenging than usual.  But do you know what that means?  I got to reorganize!!!  Hooray!  I love organizing, especially challenging spaces.  So I spent possibly an hour reorganizing our cupboards and fridge a few days back.  In the end, I'm happy to have done it- though I do wish we had more cupboard space in our kitchen!

What's amazed us is the fact that Jai actually uses his cupboard for food!  So it makes me feel good that at least my cupboard is going to good use.  Take care of my cupboard Jaisun.

He also gets bonus points for the Kindle he gave me!  Woo hoo!  Free Kindle!

Where is the maple syrup?!

We're Canadian. If you're a regular reader you would have picked up these clues with many words spelled using "u" and "e" on the end.

So, you can laugh at this post which is all about our maple syrup placement. Yup, I know, maple syrup is so Canadian. And we love it... Well I really only use it on my pancakes.

Anyway, there's a dispute in our house regarding the syrup placement. Where do you keep your syrup? I have always kept it in the cupboard. No where on the bottle does Aunt Jamima tell me her sweet, sweet syrup belongs in the fridge- so why would I question her?! It belongs in the cupboard!
Brandon, however, seems to think maple syrup belongs in the fridge. I had never heard of this before we moved in with one another. Actually it wasn't until we had pancakes at our place the first time that I had any idea at all that he was a major weirdo! In terms of maple syrup that is.

When Brandon goes in the cupboard and sees the syrup sitting comfortably on the shelf he removes it and places it on the top shelf of the fridge. WRONG!!! This is NOT where the syrup belongs!!! So, I see this and I place Aunt Jamima back in her cupboard. Sometimes this will continue as a back and forth action for a few days until he finally gives up.

Zombie Apocalypse

Brandon has been brainwashed.  He thinks there will one day be a zombie apocalypse. And he wants to be prepared.

 Brandon thinks he will be.  Prepared to fight off zombies.  Or become one.  How would this come up in conversation?  Actually, it was discussed somewhat early on in our relationship, when one day I was discussing my after death wishes to be cremated.  His response, "no way will I be cremated- I need to be ready for the zombie apocalypse!" This was news to me- I had no idea we had to prepare for such a thing.  I wasn't even sure I knew what a zombie apocalypse was!
He informed me on how zombies will, one day, rule the Earth and his body needs to be ready to become a zombie.  He doesn't want to be left out.  Sometimes if I really want to annoy him, I'll tell him that I'm going to ignore his will and cremate him so there is no chance of Brandon zombie.  I can't imagine.  Human Brandon is all this world can take.

Somehow, zombies tend to come up a lot in our house (apartment, whatever).  We watch "The Walking Dead" on AMC so following an episode there is always some kind of talk about the accurateness (or lack of) during the show, what his plan is to attack zombies, the most effective ways to take on zombies and my necessary steps (step 1: drop all your emotional attachments to people, they aren't human anymore).  I get the notion he's a lot more serious about the subject than our discussions suggest.  I, on the other hand, know the sheer ridiculousness and that zombies will not ever rule our world.  Just as unicorns won't.  Nor will Bigfoot.

 

So, Brandon has a plan to take on the zombies which includes not using guns (which are too noisy and would attract other zombies), instead using long range weapons which allow him to shoot the zombies silently from further distances.  I thought perhaps this would be useful:

But, Brandon says the knife is too close range weapon.  So, I'll scratch that off his birthday list I guess.

Then they die and drip onto the caterpillars below

First the virus takes over the caterpillar

The other day, he texted me from work and said, "scientists discovered a virus in a certain type of caterpillar that essentially makes them a puppet to the virus."  To which I replied, "that's pretty awesome"  I think he was appalled by my excitement of a puppeting virus because his next comment was, "That shit is literally one step away from zombie caterpillars!  Zombie apocalypse if just a species jump away.  I'm gonna survive it.  That shit's scary.  All the major sicknesses these days come from animals jumping species" 

You can find the link to the story here. 

Why can't all caterpillars just be drug smoking ones like from Alice in Wonderland? 

He was very distraught but interested in the zombie caterpillars and found out there are a few other species who have "zombiefied": mice, cockroaches, ants, crabs, grasshoppers etc.  This, of course,

sparked another conversation about being prepared for the zombie apocalypse.  I should probably be getting myself ready for the zombie apocalypse now...