A Doctor Office Adventure

What do you do while in the doctors office?
   
    I'll tell you what I do. I check the waxy paper on the "table" you sit on. Firstly, has no one informed doctors all our lives we've been told not to sit or lay on tables? Because that's confusing as shit as a kid. But you've got to check that paper to make sure the last person didn't soil it at all. I don't necessarily mean bodily fluid soil, I just mean in general. After I've decided it's safe to park my keister on the table, I scan the room. Have they put up any new medically informing posters since last I was here? I pretend to read them and retain the information, but I know I've read this one about being see through and detecting Colon cancer before and yet everytime I think to myself "you're right it would be much easier to spot it!", as if it's new information to me.

       The medical information posters are much the same as the medical tv commercials. They showcase someone being very upset or sick, they truly pick the worst actors for these things, cause I don't believe it. Then they give you a diagram of the affected area with some strong visual to show you it hurts. Like this poster of shingles. Check out those other two just standing there holding hands while that other guy is obviously in some kind of pain. That just seems mean. Hell, I'm one of the first to laugh when someone falls but if they were all hunched over like that I'd be like "dude you ok? Cause if so you'd better stand your ass up and get that vine of spikes out of your back"
   
    Once I feel like I'm fully educated, I gander over to the jar of cotton balls. Why are they even in here? Have you ever, during your appointment, used a cotton ball? My guess is no, because they're mostly only used for taking blood after they poke you, which they don't do in the actual doctor office. My thoughts quickly jump to Will Ferrel in Elf, which makes me giggle...and cringe. Because I hate the feel and sound of cotton balls. It's just plain terrible.

   
    How about those tongue depressors? Those things are lots of fun, aren't they? Like giant popsicle sticks. I always think about licking all of them and putting them back into the jar, spreading my germs to all those unsuspecting patients. And to be fair, you can't consider me the evil one about that, because Jerry Seinfeld has forever engrained that idea into my head. Just as I'm about to reach for the tongue depressors, the doctor walks in. I give a look like this. :O Like a dog caught getting into the garbage.
   
    Does that sound anything like your visit to the doctor?

Wedding Bells Are Ringing

Beyond this post where I announced our engagement, and this post where I talked about going to Fort York for a tour as a potential wedding venue, I haven't spoken much about our wedding. And don't let that fool you into thinking we haven't been making progress. We are well enveloped in the planning process. And thankfully neither Brandon nor I have any interest in the big, fancy, stress-filled wedding, so it hasn't been as terrible as it could be. In fact, we're just about complete with all the planning.

Our wedding is going to have a vintage flair on the cheap. We didn't want to spend the average $25,000 on a one day event. Instead, we set our budget at $5,000-$6,000 and so far we're keeping right within it. Everyone says it can't be done, but I know it can be. So here we go!

Venue: picked & booked- our venue is an old farm house turned into an event venue, so it has the charm we want, with some indoor and outdoor space. We plan to get married outdoors, weather permitting of course, and host the reception indoors.  This venue already includes tables and chairs, a full service kitchen.  $500

Food: this was one of the biggest debates between us and family- we planned on renting our own BBQ's and having people we know BBQ a meal. It's now going to be a buffet style meal, still well within our budget. So all turned out well. $1650

Alcohol/Beverages: Juice, coffee and tea come included with our meal, but not everyone wants juice, coffee or tea. OK, not many people over 19 want those beverages, so of course we will have a bar. We've decided to give everyone 4 drink tickets (good for $4 drinks) and any further drinks are at their costs. $1600

DJ: thankfully a family friend knew a great DJ, whom we've seen "in action", so not only did we get a great rate, but also a great DJ $400

Dress & Accessories: the dress is picked and ordered. I can't say too much about it here because Brandon could check in and I'm apparently supposed to keep it a secret from him. But I can tell you it's short, has pockets, and a sweetheart neckline. I also got some great vintage shoes (damn you sales woman!), a bird cage veil and I had previously picked up some pearls for a great deal. $500

Cake: Brandon's sister has been known to make some great cakes for various anniversary & birthday parties along with a wedding. So, it just makes sense to have her construct one for us. While the design is still to be determined, we have decided it will be delicious. $0

Invitations: These have been designed by us, and executed by a friend of mine. We're just about done with the design, and we will be buying the materials from a local craft store to print ourselves. $50

Brandon's Attire: Simple and easy, he'll be wearing dress pants, a dress shirt and a paperboy hat he already owns, as seen in this picture. $100-150 still to be purchased

Rentals: We will need plates and serving dishes, some warmers for food and some chairs for the ceremony. This has still yet to be sourced concretely, however we're seeing a range of about $150-250

Rings: Still to be picked, we already know the jeweler we will use as it's a family contact who also did my engagement ring for a great price. We don't want to spend a lot of money here, so we're throwing around the $200-$300 range.

So there ya have it folks, the majority of the planning is complete. The above brings the current total to $5,400 so we are right where we want to be. With some room for incidentals or splurging we may not have accounted for.

Wood Paneling, Brick Backsplash and Overly Decorated Homes

Where has the time gone?  Let me apologize to the 4 readers I have for the recent absence. Things have been busy with Brandon and I.

We have begun the house hunting process. We took a trip out to the Niagara region last week and toured around eight homes, ranging from total gut jobs to nearly done homes. We both had a favourite, until we found out a subdivision is being built right next door to it- which we are trying to get away from, not to mention the mess and noise that will go along with all that construction in the next 5-10 years. So, although the house is wonderful and ideal, it just wouldn't be the right location for us.

The first home we saw was 600 sq ft on half an acre of land, with a barn in the back. Yes... 600 sq ft. But we figured since it needed work (described in the listing), we could perhaps put an addition on and make it wonderful. Unfortunately the listing failed to mention the holes in the roof, the slanted floors and also the family of feral cats living in the barn. We decided the cats could stay.

The second was a very tiny, old farm house. OK, so it was bigger than the first, and finished and fairly liveable, but it really only had one bedroom...and then a very small room that would be better suited to a closet.

The third also needed a lot of work, but again was more like a fun house with the slanted floors and roof, the many different rooms with no definition as to what they were because some lacked doors where you thought it may be a bedroom, while others had doors where you may have guessed it was a living room. The land was amazing on this one, but just too much work for us to take on at this point.

(we didn't take pictures of those homes, mostly because we knew we wouldn't be getting into that much work)

Then we got into what I would say are more liveable homes. As in you could live in them while completing renos or upgrades. The yellow home we saw first was nice, decent yard (not like the ones we had seen, but still a good yard for Sarah & Hudson) and it had amazing wooden beams in the ceiling.

We love wooden beams and vaulted ceilings, and never considered a home in our price range to have such a feature. But this home was great. Except.... it didn't have a big enough Man Room space. Yes that's correct folks. We must have a space for all of Brandon's....toys collectibles. You remember them, right? If not, feel free to check out what I'm referring to here, here and here (and I'm sure many other areas within this blog!)

We moved on down the neighbourhood and saw one that had some great bones and space, with absolutely the best land space we ended up seeing all day.

This one was 1.25 acres of flat, wooded with some cleared land and had a decent sized fenced off area right off the kitchen so if we quickly had to let Hudson & Sarah outside they were contained, but if we wanted to let them run they had 1.25 acres. Another plus of the fenced in area, Brandon pointed out, was that we wouldn't have to wrangle poop. All poop would be contained within an area. Leave it to him to find those small positives in a situation :)  This home had a great Man Room area right off the kitchen and even had wood paneling. Oh, what's that? You don't like wood paneling? It's dark and out of date and everyone else in the world is trying to get rid of it and paint over it?  Yup- me too! But Brandon? No way! He loves it! That and brick backsplash in the kitchen. What?! Ewww! The things you learn about a person...  This one was probably higher in the running for a good part of the day, but Brandon really hated the car port and how it made the front of the house look. Even though it would be a simple fix to put in a garage and new front door, he wasn't so sure he liked the idea of it. So, goodbye to fantastic land. We moved on.

We saw a smaller cute home next, with a metal star on the front of it that we would surely be removing in fear of some people mistaking us as swingers. But as welcoming as we felt the major dip in the floor was, it just didn't make the cut.

Next came the amazing home, we both really liked.

We walked in and felt like we'd found it. It was 100% open, had a great Man Room, huge kitchen, vaulted ceilings, a basement for storage (the others up until this point, had no basement) and a great piece of land, which opened up nicely to a great 6 acres of wooded land. Actually, we even saw 2 deer frolicking through the woods while we were there. Unfortunately, that 6 acre parcel of land is the land that will be developed into 80 townhomes. Sigh. BIG sigh.

We moved on, feeling a bit defeated, to the only 2 storey home we saw. I'm not a big fan of 2 storeys, but Brandon really liked this place.

It was nice, and of course I was comparing it to the previous home I had basically already sold myself on, but it was mainly the land that blew it for me. The home had lots of wooden beams, much more rustic, with a great wood burning fireplace. It was fairly open concept, and double the size of the others we had seen. But let me tell you, the people/person who live(s) in this house LOVES Christmas! I love holidays- and love decorating my home for any holiday. But this was extreme.

My biggest issue with the 2 storey was the steep, open stairway that would be tricky for Hudson to navigate. As Brandon mentioned, the dog will only be around for so long and we obviously can't pick a house based on him and his physical abilities, but I just wasn't overly excited about the stairway myself. The upstairs had 3 bedrooms and a Man Room- which could also be a bedroom. The backyard had an above ground pool (we aren't swimmers, so this was a deterrent for us not a plus), a garage that was placed in the middle of the land and was very narrow at only 34' wide. Which is a typical width for a suburban home...exactly what we're trying to stay away from.

We felt like it was a pretty good day, and gave us an opportunity to see the things that are actually important to us and what features we can expect within our price range. I would consider us fairly simple first time buyers, because our expectations are low, we're willing to do work and renos and we're open to location. Our real estate agent may say otherwise, but being open to lots of different kinds of homes means we can see all sorts and find something that just feels right.

Movember

OK, let's talk about it. The elephant in the room- Movember.We've all seen those beards (or clean-shaven faces) turn into moustaches on the men's faces (possibly some of the women's too... just taking a month off from waxing?) And let's be honest, most men don't improve their appearance with a moustache. This isn't 1976. And those women who claim to love Movember...who are you trying to impress? Seriously, it's got to be someone...
I think we can all agree, the idea of raising awareness and money for men's cancers is fantastic, but do we really need to don lip sweaters? Many people aren't aware of all the different moustaches that exist... let me help you with this website which is a really good example of types of moustaches, and what men think they look like, versus what they actually look like.

Last year Brandon didn't participate in the terribly unfortunate "holiday" of Movember because he was involved in job interviews. This year he's got a job...and a moustache. It didn't start as a moustache however. At first it was a beard. And what a beard it was!

Thanksgiving, but could also pass for Brandon's whaling application

Halloween- he was a lumber jack, because it's the only thing that made sense

Do you see that thing? It took over his face. So, close to the end of October, he decided to shave the beard (breaking a Mo' Bro rule) into a moustache. And in typical Brandon fashion it had to make a statement.

This picture is a bit blurry but the only evidence I have of his handlebar moustache

This was no ordinary moustache folks! This was a full-on horseshoe moustache! Reaching all the way down to the sides of his chin. Does it remind you of anyone? (besides his dad?)

 You may have gone with Hulk Hogan...

Or possibly even John Travolta...?

But as soon as I saw it, I knew what Brandon was going for...

The Lorax!!

Right, Brandon? ... Brandon? Hmmmm, seems not.

That horsehoe only lasted a couple of weeks though before shit got serious! And by serious, I just mean into a regular kind of moustache. This is where we're at now.

This also happens to be Brandon's "I've got a moustache" expression. Fitting.

Movember has become a wide-spread event, perhaps even bordering on being added into the dictionary like other slang/made-up words have been known to do? It's obvious I can't fight it. My revolution I organized died out years ago, so if you can't beat 'em, join 'em right?

Waldo was inspired to don a moustache for at least a day or so in November, to show his support. And if you don't have a tattoo to draw on, why not give this a shot?

So there you have it folks, the story of Brandon's Movember support and alternatives for those who don't want to, or can't, grow a moustache. Don't say I've never been helpful.

Turns Out Rap Isn't bad

I listen to all sorts of music, and I've got some guilty pleasures I don't care to admit to. But rap hasn't ever really been one of the top genres of music I've tuned into.


That is until Jimmy Fallon & Justin Timberlake did some compilations....

Click to Watch

And now I realize I like lots of rap. Especially of the Jimmy Fallon & Justin Timberlake variety!

Halloween on the Cheap

If you know me personally you know I'm cheap frugal. I hate spending my hard earned money on items that will only be used once (which is also very wasteful), or I just don't feel are worth my money. But that doesn't mean I don't like to have fun!

So, for my work's Halloween event I wanted to make sure I showed them how resourceful I can be with materials I already had, while still showing my sense of humour. It's unfortunate no one really got it. But I digress. Below is how I made my costume:

Firstly, I grabbed my home design magazines I had already been through (to rip out the pages I was inspired by) and found IKEA ads that had thicker paper. Took those pages out of the magazine and grabbed the toilet paper holder from the bathroom to trace a circle.

After 3 circles had been traced on the (almost) cardstock ad paper, I cut them out.

I then traced those circles onto my coloured papers-green, yellow & red. The papers I used for the colours came from our wrapping stash, using green shiny wrapping paper, and tissue paper and cellophane for the red. In the end I had something that looked like this:

I assume you now see it's a traffic light of sorts. But this wasn't good enough for me. So I purchased a dollar store, LED battery operated push on/off light (generally used for closets etc) and using medical tape adhered it to the top of my chest, taping the red tissue paper & cellophane on top of the light. I then taped the other two coloured circles (which I had earlier glued to the thick ad paper) onto my black outfit in their proper order. Knowing I needed to better identify myself a bit, I taped a street sign replica with the word "DISTRICT" down my leg.

Do you get it yet? My red light was lit up using the small light I bought for $1, and I had a street sign "DISTRICT" down my leg. Red-light district! No one really understood it at work, thus I didn't win the contest. But I had fun anyway.

It's hard to tell but my red light is lit up

Hope you all had a great Halloween!